Half of Your Heart
by Mandolina Lightrobber
Summary: So what do you get when you pick two people having only half of their hearts and attempt to piece them back together in one? Possible warshipping.
1. Not to Fall Again

**A/N:** Author's Rant more like. I'll try to keep this short. One story. Three chapters. Three points of view: Amelda's, Kaiba's and neutral. Or Author's point of view, if you will. Possible warshipping. Cannot guarantee anything until I haven't gotten to part 3. Which I haven't, because you cannot call a part those frantic non-connected doodles I have on several scraps of paper laying around the table.

The few changes made to this part do not affect the story in the slightest. I merely got rid of some pesky loose ends. Most likely you won't even notice.

**Disclaimer:** I know it. You know it. Kazuki Takahashi knows it.

**Warnings:** None for now.

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**Half Of Your Heart**

**Not To Fall Again **

What am I doing again? Walking aimlessly. That has become a steady habit of mine. I walk. And I walk. And walk. On and on. Without a proper aim, without a goal or a reason. Ever since the treason of Dartz was revealed I've lost all meaning in my life. Sometimes I think it can't be quite classified as a simple treason since he'd planned this from the very start. I think it calls something more than just that, but thinking about it doesn't change anything, because nothing can be changed. Too late for that now. It has left a disgusting aftertaste in my mouth, pondering about everything I've done under someone's influence. How many foolish mistakes I've made without even realizing it. The same for Raphael and Valon, I bet. Especially for Raphael since he's the one who had the most heartfelt belief in what that turquoise-haired murderer preached. It's good I never entirely trusted him, keeping an exit door ajar for myself. Valon? Quite surprisingly he got over it quickly enough, or, perhaps, that's just his usual tough guy front set up again. Or maybe that's just because he's the youngest of us three, and more concerned about Mai. But you never know. You never know.

Me? I feel ashamed. I feel like I've betrayed the memory of my little brother. You see, I've wasted six years of my life chasing after a ghost, something that was just an illusion, an imaginary enemy. Yet I don't regret a single thing of what I've done. Strange, isn't it? During these years I've gotten a better grasp on some things that can never be changed. That _will_ never change. Today I've got no job, no home, no family to return to. I don't care as much about the first two, but the third, however… War taught me what was essential and what – of secondary importance. You can lose your job, your house can be destroyed, but your family is what always stays. They're the people who won't judge you, who will accept you for who you are, and they'll always side with you against your enemies. And I've lost them. All of them, and it might as well be my own fault.

Well, maybe I lied. I do regret something, I just make sure neither to show nor admit it. Even to myself. I was afraid to face it because I failed on the most essential thing in my life – my brother. Hell, I don't even have a grave to return to. There just wasn't enough left to bury after the explosion. Just a pile of rubble, twisted metal and some bloody shreds. And a half-molten blood-coated plastic figurine. Cruel? Yes. But that's how the life goes, isn't it? Especially if you're a child caught in the middle of a war.

As I reflect on those days when Miruko was still alive, I remember the faith he had in that inanimate toy. It was the hero that always came to save the day, but in our case he never showed up. He didn't come even though Miruko kept on repeating that he would.

_"Maybe," sad grey eyes look up at me. "Maybe there are others in bigger danger and he has to save them too."_

My heart wrenched at the memory. My brother. My little brother. And he still believed even after being let down so many times before. I now realize many things. Like, for example, _I_ should've been that hero for my brother. He put all his faith and trust in me, but I failed. Failed him twice. First time when I allowed him to die and second when I allowed myself to be tricked by Dartz's words. Strange, that the one to open my eyes on that one was my _de facto_ enemy, Seto Kaiba. I put the blame on him and his company because I was afraid to face the truth that I've always known. It's as if I'd killed Miruko with my own hands when I left him to be taken care of by others when I should've stayed by his side no matter what. My young age is of no excuse here. Seto Kaiba was just as young, yet he took care of his brother in the way I never could. My logic steps in, reasoning that Kaiba wasn't caught in our situation. He hasn't gone through war, hasn't seen everything crumbling around your ears, he cannot know what kind of horror that is. You, Seto Kaiba, have your own demons visiting at night, I'm sure. Just as I have mine. If I could revert back in time, there'd be only one thing that I'd do differently, but it'd change everything – I wouldn't turn my back on my little brother and I wouldn't leave him even for the tiniest of heartbeats. Nor would I ever let anyone else take care of him for no matter what reasons.

It's so strange. I turned away only for a second, just to retrieve the locket with our mother's picture and he was already gone. At first, I hoped to find him. Hoped that he was still alive. Still somewhere out there. Alone. Desperate. Lost. Perhaps wounded badly, but still alive. Those were my own feelings, but I refused to understand that and instead projected them on the image of Miruko. I searched the region, questioned everyone, but the answer was always nothingness. I was too afraid to face the truth, to live with the thought of never seeing him again, never hearing him laugh again, never receive one of his genuinely happy smiles... I don't even have a single picture of him. They all got burnt when our house went down in flames. The only remembrance of his existence was the partially destroyed toy figurine that I still carry with me. I wonder though, when will it stop haunting me in my dreams? The possible answer might be… _never_.

I can take it no longer. This city is suffocating me. I have to get away, get out of this rush, away from this life that knows no other ways of existence, apart reckless rush forwards without a proper aim. There's only frantic work and an eternal chain of identical grey days full of routine dragging by with no hope of reconciling. I have to, no, - I _must_ get away from this.

But most of all I have to get away from you, Seto Kaiba.

Yes, you still haunt me, and I never seem to get rid of that ghost of yours. You're there in my dreams, telling all those things that I've always known, but never acknowledged in spite and denial, you're there when I'm awake, rummaging through my mind like a colony of ants. I hate you. No. I don't. I don't know. I no longer know. Back then, when Dartz was still around and preaching a lie, it was so much easier. I didn't have to think, just feel, just hate, despise, destroy. Now that he's gone, he's taken all emotions away leaving only confusion behind. You said a lot of things during our duel, Kaiba. Not all of what you said would have worked in my situation, but you don't know all of the aspects. You wouldn't even care to know and I wouldn't even want you to know. All I want is you out of my mind for good.

I'm leaving the city on my red motorcycle. Houses are falling behind, wind grows harder as wide fields spread in front of me and it's already easier to breathe than while being in the same city you reside in. There we share the same streets, the same air, even a part of our lives. We live in the same city, Seto Kaiba, and your presence is suffocating me. Sometimes I wish you felt the same way about me sharing the same place of living, but other times I just don't care. I'm far away from the city now. I know that if I looked back, I wouldn't even see its buildings shrunken to a miniature size, but I don't look back and don't stop the driving. Not yet. I want to see the ocean, breathe even more easily. However, I know that I can never leave forever, only break away for some time. You, Seto Kaiba, are like a drug; you have invaded my blood circulation, possessed my nerve system and you keep me addicted and depending; bound to the city you live in. But I am healing. Slowly, bit by bit, I'm piecing myself together again. It takes time. A lot of time. More than I might ever have, I guess. But I know that I'll be free one day and then I'll leave for real.

As I increase the distance between the city and you, and myself, I vaguely wonder – do you even know that I'm running form you? And would you care if you knew? Most likely the answer would be a no. On both questions.

The ocean is near. I can already feel its salty breath, and soon enough I stop the driving. I've found an alcove in the cliffs to hide my motorcycle in so that no one would know about me being here although no one really comes here. For as long as I've visited this place, no one seems to be around. With the soothing thought of being completely alone and free, even though for the tiniest of glimpses of time, I make my way down the rocky and narrow path to the stone-coated beach below. The path leading down is dangerous and I assume not many could make it all the way there, so I feel ridiculously pleased to know that I'm one of the few, maybe, who can manage it. I guess the inaccessibility of this beach is what keeps other people away. Heh. All the better then. This place is kind of like me – hard to access, void of any life and empty.

The ocean is restless today. Just like my mind, I smirk to myself. Its waters are grey-green, a sure sign of a storm brewing somewhere, and the angry water desert is splashing gusts of white foam against the rocks, sending sputters of cold saltwater shimmer through the air. Yes, let the storm come. I want to see the forces of nature raging, I want to get soaked throughout and forget about everything else. I just want to be, exist without thinking and feeling. Let the wilderness go mad. To me that would be like a manifest of myself still being alive, because, cross my heart, sometimes I feel too old for my age, and cold and dead inside. I want to see the sky weep for me because I no longer can do it for myself. No tears are left within me that should be shed. At first I kept them bottled, then eventually they all dried out before spilling. Sometimes I wish I could, actually, cry, but I can't. There just isn't anything left for me to cry about. See what I mean by saying that I feel dead inside?

_Miruko_…

I wish it were possible to revert back in time. I would save you; I swear I would. I wouldn't have let you out of my sight even for the tiniest of heartbeats and then you would be alive, and we would be together now. You _could_ have been alive if not for my mistake, the strange coincidental obstacle match and a cruel twist of fate. One heartbeat, and you were still there. Another one, and you were already gone. If I could return to rewrite those happenings, we would have gone to look for that locket together. Then you wouldn't be anywhere near that tank at the moment it exploded. Granted, we would have suffered some minor damage from the blow and flying pieces of metal as I did, but we'd be alive and well. And you'd be still with me. I do realize that something else might have happened and if you had survived that time, there was no guarantee that something wouldn't happen latter on. Or that I would manage to survive for you. Then again, if I really could travel back in time, I suppose my mind would be wiped blank and I would have to start everything anew, not knowing the outcome and the consequences.

I miss you, little brother, and I'll never stop missing you because when you passed on, you didn't go alone. You took one half of my heart with you. The other half got lost somewhere along the way and I doubt it can ever be recovered. But wherever I go, whatever I do, a part of you is always with me in the remains of my heart, in my mind, sealed deep within my memories. You are my brother, even if now gone, and nothing can ever change that.

Why? Why do I feel like losing again now? Why can't I get _you_ out of my mind, Seto Kaiba? It's long done. Everything between us is long settled. So why do you keep on haunting me? I cannot think of my brother without remembering you in one way or another. I feel like I'm losing the touch with reality, like I'm slowly going insane. You seem to be in every place I go to. We're two complete strangers having nothing in common except for the fact that, for a short period of time, our lives have crossed and then drifted apart again. So why don't you get lost already, Kaiba? Get out of my mind for once! I hate you.

No, I don't. That's Orichalcos speaking in me. Yes, it's still there. Reminding about its existence every once in a while. It won't disappear so quickly. Not after I've worn it for years and allowed it to consume my sanity. The same way I can't seem to forget you, Seto Kaiba, no matter what I do. Ever since I first met your eyes across the duelling field something clicked inside my head. I don't have a name for that feeling. Back then I thought it was pure hatred for what you've done to my family and me. What, as it turned out, someone else using your name did. Now I know it was all a lie. There is no hatred in me. At least, not for anyone outside. It's an inward hatred towards myself for all the faults I've done under someone else's influence. The feeling I have for you is something else. I just don't have a proper name for it. Yet. And perhaps I'll never have.

I don't know how long I've been sitting here on this rock. Time is irrelevant for me now. As I sit here on this large stone with ocean dully splashing at my feet and watch the waves rise and fall, I'm finally at peace. My breathing is easy; nothing is weighing me down at the moment. I am free from everything. I simply exist. Without a meaning, without a goal or a proper reason. I can just be here without thinking. I don't have to worry about things weighing me down while I'm in the Domino City, I don't have to contemplate things haunting me during nights. I'm alone. Isolated from all humanity. Peaceful. Free.

At least it was that way until…

Until I caught a glimpse of _him_.

He was standing up on the cliff, his white coat flaring about in the wind as if alive, his blue eyes diverted to some spot far away into the ocean, observing something that I cannot see from down here. At least I think so. I don't know if he has noticed me yet. I don't know for how long he's been standing there. Hell, I didn't even know he _knew_ about the existence of this place.

Now, can you believe the irony of this? I was trying to run away from you, Seto Kaiba. And yet when I've turned to walk away, you are the one awaiting me at the end of my road. Suddenly I realize that I'm falling. Again. I feel the familiar emptiness take me over, the black void that makes my insides clench. Such a familiar feeling… As if Orichalcos' taking ahold of me again. I know I have to resist, but can I?

_I. Must. Not. Give in._

_I cannot fall again._

_I won't…_


	2. Everyday In Circle

**A/N:** Author's Rant more like. So, we've come to part two of this whatevertherattle. I hope I didn't screw up his personality because I tend to do that every once in a while. Then again, we've never been inside his mind and we don't know what he's really thinking. Well, apart his thoughts on Mokuba, but there's not much fluff-head in here, haha. Hence, you can't screw up something you don't know. But speaking of Mokuba, I made him kind of selfish in this one. In contrast with Miruko, anyway. Also, the name McAllister is borrowed from ElveNDestiNy, I only added another "L" because the stupid MSword underlined it all the time and got me annoyed. I wish I had come up with this last name first, because I was thinking around the same lines, but ElveNDestiNy got posted it first, so all the credit goes to her. And her stories rock!

Anyway, this still is possible worshipping, and no, I didn't mistype that. It's the association I get all the time when hearing "warshipping", so why not use it instead?

**Disclaimer:** I know it. You know it. Kazuki Takahashi knows it.

**Warnings:** Possible Kaiba OOC.

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**Half Of Your Heart**

**Everyday In Circle**

What am I doing again? Working profoundly. From daybreak to nightfall without a proper rest. I work. And I work. And work. On and on. Without stopping for a short intermission or a coffee break. There's so many to keep in charge of, so many to rule over. I must keep anyone from desiring Kaiba Corporation again. I must make it unreachable for everyone. Dartz alerted me to some insufficiencies and I'm more than determined to wipe all such possibilities out. No one, no one but me, Seto Kaiba, will rule over this company. I worked hard to get it. Too hard, perhaps, but that certainly doesn't mean I'll let anyone take it over. There will be no more excesses of that kind. I'm fed up with morons attempting to take my company away from me. It's about time I showed them I don't appreciate it.

Rebuilding the part of my company Dartz destroyed takes time. A lot of time. The stocks have fallen for nearly fifteen percents, which is quite the catastrophe. It has never been so low. Never. And because of that they now label Kaiba Corporation as unstable, hard to rely on, out of competition. And all this nonsense just because of the short period of time when control slipped from my hands. But now that Dartz has been crushed, I can work again and rescue everything he damaged. I'll get those damn percents back even if I have to work day and night! Which I most likely will, anyway. Hell, I'll make those percents double, no, – even triple the former amount, and then I want to see anyone else claiming my company being unstable. They won't dare that, now will they? I smirk in satisfaction at the thought. Amazing what money, especially lots of money can do, don't you think? Yes, I'm greater and more powerful than anyone else. Yes, my company's income is measured in millions. And yes, I don't give a damn about it. There is no match for me. Neither in the business world, nor among the pathetic duellist hordes. Yuugi included.

I've scheduled out my time, dealt the amount of tasks for every day. A mere month and I'll be back on top, the company working full throttle and the stocks running high again. Higher than ever before. Higher than anyone else's. Within a month. At least, that's the theory. Whereas the truth is that I don't have any interest in my work anymore. I feel tired because it's work, work, work, and – oh, the joy! – even more work for me. This company is devouring me. It's like a nine-headed monster from North European mythology that grows himself another head whenever you manage to cut one of them off. It's slowly tearing me to shreds and piecing me back together during nights just to resume the slow consuming when the daybreak comes again. Every day is equal to the previous one, and I can even see how will the next, say, fifteen weeks look like. Not that I wouldn't have been able to do that before, but this time it's all different. The endless meetings, paperwork, more meetings and even more paperwork now seem to be weighing me down worse than I remember them doing before. It never bothered me before the way it does now. Only recently I've come to realize that all these years I've been trapped in a never-ending circle. It never snapped. It never broke. Even when I thought it did. But it didn't. The loop just slipped, barely skipped, but never detached. I could severe it. I know I could. But Gozaburo was smart. He knew I'd never dare to do so. To get this far I paid the highest price. I sold my freedom for this. Now, do I dare giving all of this up after such a high price was once given for it? The answer is a no. It has and always will be a no.

I need caffeine. I can feel every cell in my body screaming for it. For another dose of energy to pull myself though this dread, but I cannot stop the work right now. I must finish this as soon as possible, and then there are other works piling up. I have no time for breaks. No time for coffee. No time for rest, even.

I can take it no longer. I have to get away. I _must_ get away. Even if it's for an hour or two. I know that earlier such thought would have appeared unthinkable for myself, but something's changed. I have to get out of this rush, this endless routine, this life that just drags on from day to day like an infinite lapse. I need to get out, get away from this. Stand up and leave, and be free from this. To never look back, never return, to be rid of these chains. To get away. Get away _now_. From all this work.

But most of all I have to get away from you, Amelda McAllister.

Yes, you still haunt me even though I'm not very willing to admit it, but I never seem to get rid of that ghost of yours. You're there in my dreams, nightmares more likely, showing a mirror reflection, you're there when I'm awake, sneaking around my mind like fog in dreary mornings. I hate you. No. I don't. I don't know. I no longer know. Back then, when you were still my sworn enemy, it was so much easier. I didn't have to think, just ignore, just despise, jeer and win in every clash. Now the situation's changed, in a way. We're no longer enemies and there's no longer hatred in me. Just confusion. What is our relation now? Do we have any connection now? What _are_ we to each other now? Are we, even?

We live in the same city, Amelda McAllister, and your presence is suffocating me. Sometimes I wish I knew how _you_ feel about it. Is it weighing you down the same way as it is me? Do you feel about it the same way I do? And then there are other times. Times when I just don't care. I don't want to remember that you exist. That you're here, that I'm here, that we live almost next door. I know you didn't leave Domino; I've seen you on the streets for a few times. You didn't even know that it was I, because I was safely hiding behind the tanned windows of my car. Though I think you might have suspected. This city isn't all that big for our lives to avoid one another. To never intersect in any way. We share the same air, you and I; we share the same streets and a part of our lives. The one connected with this city.

I stand up. The motion is so harsh and unexpected even for myself that papers scatter all around and flutter down on the floor like a bunch of white feathers, but I don't care. Someone, my secretary most likely, will clean this mess up, but I need to get away from here. I need to get some fresh air and I need it _now_. My steps falter in front of the door. Do I dare?

Yes, I do.

My secretary looks up with a start upon hearing the door slam shut behind me. She is surprised, I can tell, but I don't care. Without a word said I leave. Enough of people and things holding me back. They will do that no longer.

I now stare at the door of the elevator, waiting for it to land in the basement parking lot. As I stand there, I can already feel some of the ties snapping. An annoying voice in the back of my mind is urging me to turn back, claiming that what I do now is bad. Wrong. Inappropriate. Never to be allowed. It's prohibited to dare. Pro. Hi. Bi. Ted. I suddenly remember an old game I used to play as a kid. I used to repeat a word until it stopped sounding like a word at all, lost all sense and I no longer knew what was its meaning. A stupid thing to do, especially if you are a CEO of multimillion dollar company, but I'm currently stuck in this elevator going down and have nothing better to do. Not that anyone would hear me, or something. I just need to keep my mind away from work, clear from charts, stats and tables, anything that has something to do with making money.

_Mokuba_…

I don't know where Mokuba is right now, but he's certainly old enough to take care of himself. Most likely he's enhancing something in our Kaiba Land project. He sees a lot of things differently there. Heh. Makes perfect sense since, as Yuugi and his nerd bunch stated, I don't even know the meaning of _'to have fun'_. And I let them think so. In fact, I don't even care what they think of me or what they see me as. Fun is for weak and pathetic people, but I have work to do. A lot of work. They think life is a goddamn joke; that _I_ need to relax and loosen up a bit. They can't get their brains around the fact that whenever I do, I lose the control over my company. Only my little brother understands. He's grown up so much in these past years, became responsible and has _friends_. I wonder, though, when did _we_ grow so apart? When did it happen? How come I never noticed? Now I've completely lost a part of my heart. The innocent part. The one, that was always there for Mokuba. The other one was lost long time ago and can never be recovered. And Mokuba no longer needs the other part. The still living part, although barely. He has his _friends_ now. The very word leaves a disgusting aftertaste in my mouth. I'm happy for him, in a way. But that doesn't make the feeling of being betrayed go away. _Oh, well._ It had to happen someday. I should really let it go, but I cannot. I cannot give up my little brother so easily.

_"Nii-sama," wide periwinkle eyes are gazing up at me with hope. "You won't leave me, Nii-sama. You won't, right?"_

I close my eyes at the memory. _No. I won't leave you, Mokuba._ That's what I said. And that would be my answer if you asked it now. I kept my promise. But in the end it wasn't I who left you. It was _you_ who left _me_. Somehow, I thought you'll always be there, but you aren't. You're no longer there. And I no longer can think of you without remembering something. Remembering some_one_. _Him_. You, Amelda McAllister showed me something. Opened my eyes to something that I never dared to even think of. I knew of such possibility, but always dismissed it as too unbelievable, too impossible. But then I just couldn't because we met. Face to face. Seeing you I saw myself the way I would be if I had failed on Mokuba. The way I almost became. Bitter. Vengeful. Ice-cold. Dangerous. We truly are the same. You might as well have had lifted a mirror for me to look at. We are alike, and then we are not. It's all a matter of coincidences, reasons, choices made, chances failed.

Why? Why can't I forget you, Amelda McAllister? Banish your image from my mind? You're just one of many wannabe rivals I've beaten. Yet unlike I've done with others, I cannot forget about you. About your existence. I feel like I'm drifting away from reality. Like I'm losing the touch with my sanity. You seem to be everywhere I go. On the streets, in the crowd. We're two virtual strangers. We've got nothing in common apart this city and a few moments in past, yet your eyes keep on haunting me. No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to forget you. Ever since I met your eyes across the duelling field something clicked inside me. I took it as hatred. As scorn for another pathetic wannabe rival. But you were never just a rival. You've always been more. I just don't have an appropriate name for it. Yet. And perhaps I never will. I don't know what's better – if it stays unnamed, or not. I'm not sure if I want to know it, either.

I continue to stare blankly at the metal door. A mechanical tingle announces the arrival of my destination and the door slides open, revealing the parking lot. Another dozen of ties are severed after it slides shut behind my back. I take a step forward. Forward to freedom. To breathing easier. To finding that unknown something I'm looking for since late. Is it real, even? I don't know what I'm looking for, which is new. The Great Seto Kaiba has always known. And now I suddenly don't?

Houses are quickly falling behind and a fresh breeze barges in through the open window. I'm leaving the city in my red car. Yes, the same one I stole. _De facto_ stole, anyway, because I _did_ pay for it. Plus, I overpaid. The idiot owner should be grateful. In any case, I increase the distance between the city and myself, between myself and… you, Amelda McAllister. Yes, I want to get away from you too because the city holds your presence, your breath lingers in the air, your shadow haunts the streets, the crowds, the uptown, the downtown, the outskirts, the underground… And me. You're everywhere present yet nowhere to be found. You are yet you aren't. A ghost. Delusion. Mirage. Illusion. I avoid looking into rear-view mirrors. I don't want to see the city even if now it's in the size of matchboxes. Looking back I might see you, Amelda McAllister, and I don't want to take such risk. I keep my eyes on the road ahead because it's safer that way. Ghosts don't exist. _You_ don't exist.

The road ends and I get out. Habits take over my logic and I lock the car even though no one is here to steal it. It's just a force of habit. Now I'm walking up to the highest peak. Heights attract me; it is a synonym for power. And I am powerful. Fierce ocean wind rams against my chest knocking my breath out because I no longer am in the protective shield of cliffs, but rather out in the open where winds can take a run, and for a moment I'm left struggling for air. When my gaze sets on the endless water field, my breathing catches once again and this time it's quite unintentionally. The Pacific Ocean is raging today. The foam-coated waves are in the height of a five to ten-story building, the water a dull grey colour. Yes, I am powerful, but ocean's power supersedes mine. I know what the silent water desert can do and I fear it. I always have. Yes, the almighty Seto Kaiba _does_ fear something. No one can rule over such deep waters. It's impossible. Ocean never bends to human's will, it crushes them, drowns them, destroys them.

My breath catches for the second unintentional time today because I've noticed something. A ghost. Someone, who doesn't exist. Someone, who _shouldn't_ exist.

Red hair flaring in the wind like flames of a lit torch; he is a rather bright spot on the dull and grey background and I wonder why didn't I notice him straight away? He's sitting so close to the ocean, water splashing at his feet. The deadly water is all around him. Water and stones. I don't know how he's gotten there and I don't care to find out; I don't want to be so near the ocean when it's raging. I watch a huge, destructing wave coming straight at him with slight fear and strange excitement. It is about to wipe him off that small piece of land and I hold my breath in. The wall of water rams against the rock, white foam hissing and splashing, and parts, bending around the cliff, sputters hailing through the air. I exhale. He's still sitting there. I don't know whether its bravery or idiocy. Then again, this _is_ Amelda. And if it's him, it's most likely neither. He's just like the ocean. Deep. Silent. Calm. Unpredictable. Deceiving. Dangerous. Powerful. And I am powerful too. I wonder if he fears me? He should. After all, everyone does. But he's so close to the raging ocean. So close to the _real_ power… Should I… fear him? He can what I cannot – he can approach the ocean when it's enraged. Does that mean he's more powerful than I am? And I feel it again. The circle is closing in on me again. The trap is falling shut and locking me in. I escaped one cycle only to fall into the next. I'm back in the spellbound circle, that infinite lapse that spirals on an on without ceasing.

_I. Cannot. Stay. Trapped inside it._

_I must break free again._

_I must…_


	3. Where Do We Go From Here?

**A/N:** This was finished last Sunday, precisely at 04:04 AM. And in case you forgot, this is the END.

**Disclaimer:** I know it. You know it. Kazuki Takahashi knows it.

**Warnings:** I don't think there are any. How about – unpredictable ending?

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**Half Of Your Heart**

**Where Do We Go From Here?**

The beach had lost its magic. The raging waves were unfriendly and threatening now, the ocean was no longer fascinating, and he felt horribly out of place. He no longer knew why he had come here, what had he been looking for. Why was it that he could not make a single step without encountering _him_? Was this some sort of curse for everything wrong he had done?

But the grey waters just raged on, paying no attention to the unfolding tragedy. Human problems paled out in comparison to the drama of the oncoming storm – the force of nature that crushed everything in its path.

Dangerous.

Destructing.

Powerful.

Unforgiving.

Lethal.

Something as insignificant as a human was not going to stop it from its rightful riot.

* * *

Amelda was irritated beyond belief, although he was not sure about the target of this emotion. It might have been Kaiba as well as himself, and the redhead searched no further. His surroundings had lost that nameless feeling he had been looking for the moment he was made aware of the other's presence. He wished it had been someone else, _anyone_ else. Even Varon. Yes, that Australian brunette was annoying, but at least he knew when to leave Amelda alone. And he too had his own inner demons to fend off and therefore they could share the same space without weighing one another down with their presence. Not too much at least. Eventually they had come to some sort of understanding, but it had taken time. A lot of time and countless pointless arguments.

* * *

Kaiba was unsure of what to do. Had Amelda noticed him yet? The redhead down there might as well be carved in stone – he had not even moved. He did not seem to be looking this way either, but the considerable distance made it rather hard to tell. Kaiba was here, and his former rival, his former _enemy_ was here, too. Now, what could he do about the situation? Suddenly the CEO wished to have fought back that ridiculous urge to get out of his office and away from all the work. He will have to catch up to it anyway, and that usually meant some extra hours of work during nights. The brunette was not sure about his feelings at the moment. What _did_ he feel? Out of the mismatch of different emotions annoyance won out rather easily. Could Amelda not get the hell out of his life and get his own damn life already?

* * *

Dared he to leave now? Surely, Kaiba would take that as cowardice. As if he would be running from him. That, however, was true. He _was_ running from him, in a sense. So, dared he to leave? Kaiba would no doubt notice him then. _If he hasn't already._ But Amelda had come here first. Was it not only logical if he left first, too? Besides, the waves were getting fiercer with every passing second and staying so close to them for any longer was as good as a death wish. Especially if the flood was about to start. With this thought kept in mind, the redhead got to his feet and left, avoiding glancing up at the cliff. He was not very willing to see the figure standing atop it. If he got lucky, Kaiba would not even notice him. But it seemed that today his luck had taken a day off.

* * *

Should he leave? Or should he stay? Kaiba did not know the answer to his own question. His cerulean eyes blankly stared at the raging waters below. He stubbornly avoided landing his gaze on the dark figure with flaming hair. He had come here to gain some freedom, but had found another spellbound circle instead. The brunette's head snapped up with defiance. What was he thinking? He was _not_ going to leave. If Amelda wished, he could leave. Kaiba was not going anywhere. He would stay here and freeze his ass off if needed until the redhead left. A motion from below drew his attention and he stared at the mentioned redhead leaving the site. Suddenly the brunettes's feet seemed to move on their own accord, carrying him over to where the possible path down might be.

* * *

As Amelda emerged from the shelter of cliffs and took the last turn in his way of retrieving his motorcycle, he was met with cold cerulean eyes. Reaction was immediate. The both of them froze with alarm and identical glares lit up in their eyes. Time passed by in heavy and unpleasant silence that was broken only by the dull drumming of waves from below and the occasional howl of the wind.

Finally the redhead remembered to speak. "What do you want, Kaiba?"

A shadow of a smirk crossed those fair, but cold features. "What don't I want?"

Grey eyes narrowed unfriendly. Amelda wanted to leave. He _had_ to leave, otherwise… Otherwise that black void would devour him again, and this time getting rid of it would not be half as easy as it had been the first time. To break free, his soul had been sacrificed then. The stakes would definitely be higher now, and he did not want to know exactly how much higher. After the first sighting of Kaiba, the inner darkness had restarted growing and developing. Emerging from the deepest and blackest corners of his mind it had started to consume his sanity. He _had_ to leave. _Now_.

"What you want is none of my concern," Amelda snapped coldly, feeling irritated for being held back and certainly not in the mood for mind games. "Since you're in my way, get out and stop keeping me away from things more important than this idiotic conversation."

"Are we conversing?" Kaiba raised a brow and put a fist to his hip in attitude. "I guess I didn't notice because _you_ were talking all of the time." Kaiba could not decipher what the redhead was thinking. _Not that that would be a surprise._ Most likely something along the lines of throwing him off the cliff. Which was very easy to be accomplished in the current situation, as he was forced to realise. Such knowledge could be very unsettling sometimes.

Amelda wanted to growl in anger and annoyance, but that, obviously, was what Kaiba was trying to achieve. He restrained his volcanic temper just enough to find a decent and icy comeback. "If you don't have a point to get, get out of my way and quit wasting my time."

Kaiba, however, did not have a decent comeback this time. That had sounded so much like what he would say. _When I still _had_ a point to get,_ Kaiba smirked at himself sarcastically.

Amelda took that as Kaiba smirking at him. What rights did he have, even with his multimillion-dollar company? Did he think he could just waste anyone else's time just because he desired on it? Did he think he was above everyone else? That his social status gave him the priority to treat others like dirt? Oh, how gladly Amelda would punch that smirk out of his face and toss the CEO over the cliff's edge! He could feel his hands _itching_ to just do that. Then he would be rid of him once and for good.

But the redhead did not do it. He merely confined himself with glaring holes in the brunette man. He knew that one wrong move could cause them both falling to their death onto the rocks and into the waves below, and he did not want to die because of some lowlife bastard.

While Amelda was fighting with himself, Kaiba had made his mind up. Completely surprising his former enemy he strode around him and headed down the path the redhead had used recently. Rather soon the brunette realised that it had only looked easy – the way Amelda had done it. The rocky and at some point narrow way was as full of tricks as an old horse.

Incredulous Amelda turned around to stare after him. Did that moron have a death wish? Could he not see that the flood had already begun? Or did he consider himself so great that the ocean would retreat just because he approached it? Deciding not to think about what he was about to do, Amelda followed Kaiba down. The brunette was way ahead already, stumbling his way to the stone-coated shoreline.

Seto Kaiba had almost reached the beach – only a few metres remained. The narrow shore was now mercilessly assaulted by salty waves eroding the coast and drawing the little of the fine sand back into the depths of the ocean. Adrenaline was running high in his veins and reigning over his senses, his common sense above all. Kaiba's mind refused to register the danger he was putting himself into. His inborn striving for competition and victory was blinding him more than ever before.

The storm was gaining power. The wind was cold, wet and fierce, and the cruel breeze was throwing splutters of icy saltwater in Kaiba's face and mercilessly pulling at his clothes, threatening to rip them apart. He was strangely relieved when his feet finally made contact with the saggy and dirty sand. The next moment he almost jumped because Amelda appeared in front of him. Had he not left the redhead far behind? He must be a ghost if he could move with a speed like this. _But ghosts don't exist._

"Are you out of your mind?" the redhead snarled with fury that superseded the one of the oncoming tempest. A large wave washed over the stone-filled beach, reaching them and leaving half an inch of water behind. Amelda did his best to ignore the rising water and how deceptively it churned around his ankles. They had to get out of here as soon as possible, but Kaiba seemed to be caught up in some delusion. "Do you have a damn death wish?"

"You're in my way, Amelda," came the cold reply. "And I would appreciate it if you moved out of it."

"Like hell!" the redhead snapped. "In your way of killing yourself? Snap out of it!"

Eyes of icy blue concentrated on him full force. What the hell was he talking about now? He was not trying to kill himself; he was trying to prove that he could do just as much as Amelda could and even more than that. "Move out of my way before I make you to do it. You won't like that, I assure you."

Storm-like eyes showed that Amelda was ready no matter what he would do. He could handle him if need be. But why did he find it so important to prevent Kaiba from killing himself? He was not his damn guardian angel or anything. Granted, there were times when he still wanted him dead, but to witness it in person? And was this even his business if the idiot had suddenly gone suicidal? "Why the hell do I even bother?" Amelda muttered to himself and stepped aside, giving the CEO a disdainful look. He had given up with his inner struggle. "Fine. Go on. I won't stop you. Why should I care if you live or die?"

"That's certainly none of your business," Kaiba replied coldly and walked past him with determination. Waves were whispering and splashing around his ankles, and steadily rising higher. The unfriendly water field held a different kind of magic now – a dangerous magic. Its rage was hypnotising. Addictive. And Seto Kaiba was just a human witnessing its destructing power. The ocean seemed to call out to him. It told him how peaceful and warm was it within its depths; how calm and free he could become if he gave in to the alluring force. There were no problems, no rush, and no stress down there. Warm and dark waters would close above his head and he would be forever rid of the human world, forever rid of its pathetic, insignificant problems. Endless peace and serenity – both in his mind and in the world around him. A new world. A better world. An eternity without problems and stress, work and meetings, challenges and losses. Only never-ending freedom.

Amelda was glaring at Kaiba's retreating back. With his arms folded, he followed the brunette's motions and how he approached the ocean. The storm was drawing nearer and the waves rose higher. He was almost knee-deep in water now and soon it would overflow his boots. Yet Kaiba didn't stop. He just continued on with his way deeper into the water. Right now he was walking past the rock Amelda had been sitting on. The redhead frowned. Something seemed to be wrong here. The waves were washing around Kaiba's thighs already; there was no way for him not to notice that. _Then why didn't he turn back?_

And then suddenly Amelda knew. The unsettling realization struck him like a lightning bolt. He was _not_ going to turn back. The redhead knew what this was. Memories swirled in his mind like a hurricane. _Fire… Flames… So hot… So mesmerizing… Home… Destroyed… Don't! Brother, stop! Dancing, flickering flames… Amelda! Brother… Flames… Explosion… More flames… _He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head to free himself of those images.

During the war, when he had watched his home burning down, he had gone through something similar. He could still remember how mesmerizing the flames had seemed; they had called out to him, invited him to become a part of them. And Amelda had given no account to his actions, had not controlled himself, and he had almost walked into the burning house, but his mother had restrained him. Even now the memories made him shudder. _He would have walked into the house and burnt alive if he hadn't been stopped._

But who was going to stop Kaiba?

And more important – was that even possible?

Several times the brunette tripped over the underwater rocks, but still he stubbornly fought his way through the powerful waves. He had to. The depths of the ocean promised absolute freedom. Kaiba did not register the increasing strength of the currency that pulled him in deeper. To him it was the ocean's welcoming. He was alone. Abandoned. Used. Empty. The ocean promised silence and peace. Yes, he wanted to be at peace. To be free. And it was here: within a reach, under the surface, in that endless grey depth. _Just a little more… And then… Freedom…_

A hand roughly pulled him back – another obstacle to be removed. Someone was trying to keep him from his release. Someone did not want him to be free, to be rid of that vicious circle that had kept him trapped for years. Kaiba showed that person away, but he, whoever he was, was not giving up so easily. Someone was still trying to restrain him, and the brunette fought against it with passion. He had to break free!

Amelda grunted, receiving an especially harsh blow to his chest and for a moment was left struggling to breathe. It was not very surprising that Kaiba resisted. Amelda had fought against his mother's grip, too. But his mother had been stronger than little Amelda, while Kaiba was a considerable match. The brunette was not in control of himself, and neither had been the redhead all those years ago when the war was going full force. "Kaiba! Stop being an idiot and snap out of it!"

The features of his opponent seemed familiar to Kaiba, but he was not in the state to place the appropriate name with the image.

"Quit being an egotistical bastard and think about Mokuba for once!"

_Mokuba…_

That name… Kaiba stopped. Breathing heavily, he stared at his opponent and felt as if a veil had been lifted off of him. His mind clicked in gear again and he could fully comprehend the situation. Incredulous, he blinked. "_Amelda?_"

"Yeah. Hi," the redhead stated with an odd kind of sarcasm and let go of him.

Only now Kaiba realized that he was cold. They were standing chest-deep in water. _Freezing cold_ water. The pressure of the waves grew even more noticeable as they continued to just stand there. How _on earth_ had they ended up here?

"I hope you're a good swimmer," Amelda's voice snapped him out of the reverie. The redhead's mask had slipped and he looked exceptionally tired. Courtesy of Seto Kaiba in all his glory. "Because I suck at it."

Cerulean eyes widened and his jaw almost dropped open, but he was thankful that it did not because of the huge wave that crashed over them in the next moment. The last thing Kaiba saw was Amelda closing his eyes when they were buried under, as it seemed, a ton of water and lost their footing. The ocean drew them in deeper with frightening force and speed. Kaiba regretted not closing his own eyes because the saltwater stung in them and made everything blurry once he had fought his way back to the surface. A small panic attack visited the otherwise collected businessman. The brunette no longer knew which way was the shore, and the raving water made it even harder to see anything that was further than two metres.

"That way," stated an annoyed voice to his left, and he turned his head to see Amelda. Kaiba assumed his shock and relief must have shown, because the redhead gave him a slightly disdainful look. "I'm not _that_ hopeless, Kaiba."

Seto chose to keep his comments to himself and proceeded to fight his – _their_ – way back through the waves. The mighty roar of the water drowned out any other sounds, making any verbal communication impossible. Thankfully the currencies of the flood lent them a helpful hand and carried them over to the cliffs where all the help ended. Amelda slipped from Kaiba's grip and stayed floating in the waves, while the brunette got picked up by the current and thrown against the cliff. Even the redhead's try to pause the younger man gave no visible effort, it only pulled him along as well. The impact hurt more than either of them would want to admit.

Waves were tossing them about like rag dolls and threatened to draw them under as they made their way along the cliff. Both men had been carried a considerable distance away from where the path up was, and now the way back seemed to stretch out more and more instead of diminishing. To make the matters worse, an annoying drizzle had started and the wind had turned from cold to icy.

Amelda was not far from cursing out loud. The rain would make the rocks slippery, and even without that Kaiba was not an expert climber. It would be a pure wonder if they made it out of this alive. _Figures_, he thought cynically, _that Kaiba would find it damn funny to get all suicidal on my ass_.

Kaiba was certainly relieved when they reached the path up. Yet he knew that it was too soon to relax. The hardest part, perhaps, only lay ahead. He turned towards Amelda, taking in his tired appearance. "You go first."

"You go. I'm a better climber, and I'll make sure you don't fall off or something." Amelda did not want to take the chances and take another swim in case Kaiba was smart enough to slip and fall into the water below. One time was lousy enough, and the redhead did not want it repeating. His muscles were already going numb from the cold, and his sense of touch had stopped to function properly a while ago.

"And I'm a better swimmer. You're too tired to hold on against the waves. You should go first." Was he trying to play the saviour of the day? Seto Kaiba did not know. For _some_ reason he felt obliged to act the way he was acting right now.

Irritation flashed across the redhead's face and with one hand gripping at he cliff for support, he reached out with the other to run his fingertips over Kaiba's forehead. This action startled the brunette, and when he withdrew, he saw that Amelda's fingers were stained with red. Kaiba assumed that he must have gotten injured when the waves threw them against the ragged cliff. The icy water had obviously numbed his senses because he had not felt anything.

"Climb, God damn you," Amelda growled, and Kaiba found it smarter to listen. He found a place for support and outstretched one hand to help the redhead up. He took it without a question.

They were almost halfway up the cliff when Kaiba slipped and lost his footing. Amelda's hand immediately shot out to pause his fall and pull him back up. This almost made the redhead lose his own balance. After a desperate struggle, they were up in safety and could take a relieved breath. Both men were standing side by side, breathing heavily from the amount of energy spent and still slightly disbelieving that they had made it. They also felt thankful to whomever it was that had allowed them to survive.

The once enemies simultaneously turned to look at one another, and following a strange spur of the moment, Kaiba leaned forwards to capture Amelda's lips in a fiery kiss. Grey eyes widened in shock. The contact sent tingles through both their bodies, but the redhead chose not to respond. Slowly he withdrew and simply stared at the brunette for a long time.

The wind was howling around them and the rain grew in force. The strange silence that had settled above them felt uncomfortable and unsettling.

"Go home, Kaiba," the older man finally spoke with a hint of tiredness. "You've caused enough damage for one day."

Kaiba felt as if he had received a punch in the face. He was quite shocked himself, but what had brought that about – he did not know. It could either be his own actions, or Amelda's calm reaction, or most likely a combination of both. Gritting his teeth, he turned around and left as respectfully as his soaked clothes allowed him to. Once again he was falling back into the same circle that he had tried to get out of. The routine began again.

Amelda watched him walk away and a smirk slowly spread across his features. The former World Champion had an aura of defeat now even though he tried to look impressive. A pitiful look indeed. But that was not what Amelda was smirking about. He had just realised something. Something very important. He had been cured from his addiction. He was free now. He could leave any moment he desired. A strange, happy feeling was building up in the redhead's chest. It only increased as he watched his former enemy getting in his car and driving away.

* * *

Kaiba reached his car and shuddered involuntarily. He could still feel Amelda's eyes upon his back. He had just added another reason to the redhead's miles-long hate list. What the hell had gotten into him that he had gone and done something as utterly idiotic as kissing Amelda? Was it a temporary insanity or some lame survival instinct, or whatever you were supposed to call those kinds of things? He cursed at himself and started up the engine, then turned the heater on to chase that icy feeling in his chest away. He drove away without a single backwards glance, once again haunted by that strange feeling that if looked back, he could see Amelda. And he knew that this time he would, indeed, see him. But he did not want to see him. Not now, not ever.

Kaiba was angry, enraged and all those good aggressive emotions fused into one. It had been long since he had last gone and made a fool out of himself in front of someone. The fact that it happened to be no other than Amelda this time was even more aggravating. And the tone in which he had been dismissed… Amelda had been so calm, _too_ calm. Almost like a marble statue, he had just looked at him indifferently and then sent him away, and even if Kaiba was very much the same, he hated people of that kind with passion. Especially the red-haired ones.

* * *

Amelda walked up to the highest point of the cliff and allowed the fierce wind and icy rain whip at his battered body. He should go home and change into something warm and dry, but not yet. A laugh was building up in him, and this one was a happy laugh. Not insanely happy, but happy happy. The kind of he had not had in _years_. It came soundlessly at first, and then steadily grew in volume. He was free now. The spell was finally broken. He was no longer bound to Domino City. He could leave now. He _would_ leave, but not just yet. There was something that he had to do first.

Despite the wind and the rain, and his own soaked clothes, the redhead outstretched his arms as wide as he could, threw his head back and screamed out his freedom.


End file.
